yay! i take back Sunday!

Oh yes! I'm taking it back!

Had it been a typical eat-all-you-can type of party without the hassle of a painful stomach not right after but 24 hours after (!) i would gladly exchange my place in heaven just to take that darn day back specifically the 7pm-9 spot. Yes i chucked a couple of drumsticks, popped a handful of popcorns in my mouth and deliberately washed it with a bottle of beer, only to be slightly dizzy immediately after doing so, but i have done it countless times before and i've never been regretful with any of it –not as much as i am now.  And it wasn't a consolacion that  my officemates/partymates too are experiencing the feeling of boiling intestinal fluids every other hour or so because laugh=air=fart and well, you know what comes after. Literally, a whole spanking deal of shit.

gad, i hate J&B. 

weakend

i spent saturday in dreamland, and at our boss' place on sunday.  dont get me wrong, i am no living in a world where i can do whatever it is that catches my fancy, heck, our boss isnt even hot, but he has a great place, but i digress.

its an overnight houseparty/swimming party/lechon party/despedida party supposedly thrown for two of our officemates, but only one of them showed up which didnt actually defeated the purpose at all since -i am purposely mixing my words right here defying all rules of parallelism- in the passage of time we learned that our boss' family will migrate to the States around mid-year.  Anyway, it went on pretty well. I mean, it was fun. im just not a good narrator so just believe me when i say i did have fun. there. (well, saying the fact that its an overnight thing and i didnt stayed there until morning doesnt discredit me right?)

well anyways..

last friday i had a bad encounter. it was so bad i had to cry and cry i did letting go of all the modesty i can ever muster.  yes, i messed up and threw my childish, weak self around the place hurting my ego, bashing my human existence, my pride, perhaps everything that i have worked blood and sweat for.  all in just one snap of a finger, my tears welled up. i cant think or do anything else to stop it from falling.  at that time there are only two words ringing in my head and it wont die down: crushing validation.  it hurt. it hurt like hell.

I had to shut my eyes for a day so no one will notice my swollen eyes. somehow the pain still irked me no matter how far i extend my reason and my sense for rationalization.  some things cant be forced, some things just have to die down.  some things have to hurt for one to realize that there is no other option but to stop.  stop pushing things, stop giving more than you can have.  save your salt for the rainy day, and don't lavish on murky waters just because they're warm. go to the ocean and experience life. i had to get out of the house.

im not sure if im okay now. i still have friends. and good friends they prove to be. I'll take back sunday if i could.

untitled

im in a state where im good as drunk and bad as sober that i cant even make two interrelated sentences in one paragraph.

here's the number of things that's currently keeping me busy in random order: sun unlimitext call and text, 300, chocolate chip cookies, lindsay lohan, tax review, picture editing, chowking halo-halo, tulak ng bibig by julianne (playing over and over in my head), black tops, more chocolate chip cookies, melodramatic bus trips.

not quite sure how they are all consequential of each other. wala lang.

work mode play mode

This is basically what happens to me when I am busy with a lot of things office-related. I neglect my blog.

In any case, there's not much noteworthy things to say; and its ironic how people I talk to everyday ask me what my perception is about a certain topic.  So there, i thought somehow my thoughts matter.

For the last couple of days i've been working on a new client that's suppose to take two weeks because time is generally of essence with regards to the things we will report.  Being a semi-OC myself, other than chocolates and teddy geiger, tax codes run every minute in my head. There's no room for anything green in there. hehe

I just finished drafting my preliminary report this afternoon. I hope my senior don't notice I just copied and paste most of the stuff in there. hehe

So there. I think i'll google again and look for something to ramble about. when I get back.

If ever i will.

i havent changed

now im twenty one. The same age my father and mother got into a mess im sure they are regretting, in one way or another. Anyway..  How am I doing? Im pretty fine. But i guess you can say that i'm pretty patient a person that's why even if im really stuck in a hell hole, i'd still say IM FREAKING FINE. Lately, no, i mean for the past eight months of sluggishness, of being choice-less, of being "stuck" in my so-called career, i managed to keep my weight at 122 lbs (hah! as if im conscious about such things, thanks to Bryanboy), keep track of Lindsay Lohan's haircolor, Britney's exposures and publicity stunts, who's paired up with whom, who's broken up with whom, what's the craze in bags, shoes, clothes, men, dating, sex, gayness, lesbianism, name it, i probably have googled about it (Gad, im going to get fired for this).

So there, really not much has changed with me except my wardrobe since i turned 20. I'm still the go-with-the-flow-fellow waiting for some grace to shower on me. 

satisfied

whoa.

I'm quite surprised how good i feel today. I mean, out of the blue it just came rushing through me! Now you ask, where's the freaking details? uhm i dont know how to say it in a way that I can truly put this certain happy feeling i'm feeling right now into words and appreciate the total construction of it, you know what i'm saying? I dont want to exploit it just yet.  I think its best that I smile for a good one hour or so, just to give me the benefit of it.  Even if i risk being called a moron. haha..yeah. .

idle states,headaches,funnies

some blogger who calls himself mike "fucking" villar beat the hell of crap out of me (whatever that means).

im hooked.

MRT- this is where i will die

It has been my tradition to start off my Friday mornings in a light and carefree note as a break away from the previous four-day morning rushes.  Sometimes, though, the mighty plans dont turn out the way they should be like what just happened to me this morning, when I woke up at a time 44 minutes past the time I originally set.  So as not to be late for office, after i took the shower and did all the obligatory feminine mornig rituals, I decided to head to the MRT station instead of the bus stop.  With my cool still in tact, i silently prayed to the heavens that I reach the workplace safe and unharmed (because as we all know, MRT is not a very safe place for a dilly dally person.  To say the least, going there is like goint to a wild forest).

I was relieved to see the platform clear of wild animals, er..passengers.  Grateful to the answered prayer, I patiently waited for the train as a frontliner while people started gathering on my back and on my sides.  "Here comes the train now", i gushed..yipee…..ow…..ow……aargh!!…ouch…..akh…..oh god, why have you forsaken me!!!

Hell, I havent even eaten my breakfast yet but I feel I can kick some strangers butt already, big time. When I subtly tried to jerk my neck and look for the amazon girl who pushed me without any trace of conscience, I found a middle-aged looking woman, with a mattress-of-a-body and whose eyebrows rival the height of Mt. Everest. When another set of passengers came in, she pushed and thrust herself in the middle even bumping into a pregnant woman making me all the more questioning: Gad, why did you introduced Lucifer's sister to me?

For a moment I thought about what unforgivable act I did in the past to deserve the kind of squeeze I was getting in that instance.  Gluttony? Anger? Pride? Covetousness? Sloth? Envy? Lust?  okay, i'm guilty. But still! Okay, uhm… as I was saying, anyone in their healthy mind will not go into a public transportation system to push people using their big fat of a body endangering someone's pair of lungs. Its just not normal! What's wrong with them?  Menopause syndrome? Hormones? Animal instincts? whatever..

I got off the train unbruised, thanks to my blazer.

But then again, my lungs (or my other internal organs) could be bleeding right now and I wouldn't know how many times I will have to endure it till I ride the MRT again.

Pwedeng headline sa LIBRE: Woman died, suffocated while riding the MRT.

this song isn’t me but i’ll post it anyway

..because it beats the mushy strand in me. (><)

Way Back Into Love

Ive been living with a shadow overhead

babble

Dry is the understatement.

I came rushing through the daily morning routine with not so much of an expectation about what job will be assigned to me today, practically because really, there's none.  This is the point where your mind cant help floating in mid-air for lack of weight.  Even if you want to stay firm on earth and be human, your subconscious tells you otherwise.  Is this some kind of a workplace high or something? Nah. This is what you call Lazyboy-syndrome.  The thought of doing nothing is so alluring that you damn everything that spells effort.  It's like a nuisance and a therapy at the same time. It kills you inside knowing you're rotting every single day, deteriorating, depreciating, getting impaired, and yet you dont simply give a damn! And that in itself gives you the feeling of liberation, of silent contentment, however stupid it seems to be.

Is there some truth to all of these? I feel like im always in a trance these days. and i'm not even inlove. 

what? i should get laid? hehe

in a fishbowl

Life has been going easy on me. I have a decent paying job and a warm home.  All i do is surf the net, chat with officemates, check the latest cd of d'sound, teddy geiger and mandy moore,text and please my stomach. Ask how my weekend went.

My weekend was spent with the company of family and friends.  Saturday afternoon until nighttime I was at Marikina Riverbanks with my old college friends/org mates celebrating our Organization's second year anniversary. Even if the place is swarmed with bloodsuckers, the purpose pretty much compensated for it.  Choose the appropriate adage to this: a.) Friends forever, for better or for worse b.) Beggars cant be choosers c.) Bloodsuckers unite! (it adds up to the effect coz we have always been associated with blood anyway) d.)all of the above.

Sunday was spent at home. After waking up late and forcing my ever so lazy self to do the house-chores (which didn't suceed), I decided to take a breather, in the streets of Cubao.  I pretty much memorized the place; every nook and cranny, where to find the ukay-ukay, the locksmith, the dirty movie houses, or where porn dvds sell, where little children sleep, where the homeless and the damned live away their seemingly worhless lives. It's all dirty out there. Somehow pointless.  I dont even want to blame this to the government coz really I'm too selfish to think about others and life out there. They made me realize something I was pushing to the side all this time. Im so full of myself.

im so inspired…not!

I'm nowhere near clarity.  I've been thinking about a lot of things about my future — my career, my family, my extended family, myself.  Its sad because today is just another day like yesterday and the day before yesterday.  And when I say just another day, its within the context of relaxation and foolery in the sense that I'm fooling myself that I'll be fine in the next 10 years or so.  Frankly I am not enjoying the unlimited net surfing anymore; and the number of calories I've consumed during my prolonged coffee breaks has amounted to grand its not even funny.  I know, I'm too serious to make a joke out of this. 

happy hearts day

"what the world needs now,

is love sweet love…"

Just when I thought everybody here in the office has turned jaded and barren because of the monotonous ten hour job we have, I walked in the office late (I spent an unbelievable amount of time in my bathroom, but that's another story) expecting to see the usual black, white and grey color motiff but heck, was i surprised to see everybody's cubicle beaming with long stemmed roses and boquets!  It's like entering a garden, really; only sans the bees and the ocassional butterflies (but it can be deduced, with the number of gay people working in our office, who needs butterflies?).  I never thought some of our bosses would be so nice to give us roses too.  It kinda took me out of my senses knowing someone had just given me a rose even if its just for the sake of the V-day (I have never received a petal in my darn 20 years of life!).  It was a nice gesture, gives you the feeling you're appreciated; in this case, appreciated in the workplace, even if all i do all day is surf the net and throw myself to the restroom every other hour.

I hope I can carry on with the other side of Valentine's day. I mean, you know, the part where you ask yourself, where are dating games when you need them?