faint attempt to express myself to the potential love interest

May 21, 2007

to you-know-who-you-are:

Delving on instinct and acting on impulse has always been my inclination towards a potential love interest. I am anchored to the fact that destiny plays a big role in finding ‘The One’ so I would gladly risk my ass breaking rules just to prove that. In the end, I will be satisfied as to why the connection would break. It was meant to be.

I never believed in courtship, at least not in our setting. I would rather spend a day with the PLI and see how the gears work for the both of us. Love is subjective anyway. There is more than the unpretentious interaction and spontaneous retorts than what our idea of courtship implies. I’ve heard enough stories and tragedies how long courtships ended in bitter divorce. Of course there are other factors involved but what it boils down to is prolonging the verdict.

And so with this mindset I am disregarding the formalities. I don’t like flowers and predictable text messages with questions not really worth answering if I’m without courtesy. Strike up a conversation and be as silly as you want to be. This way I’d know that a future with you is not as fairytale-like as you would want to make it by showering me with mums. And that is more realistic.

Celebrate being human, celebrate being yourself. Nothing is more off-turning than someone who’s living an imaginary grandeur. If you have been wearing rosy glasses for long you won’t see me marveling in my mud. Ignorance is not an excuse.

At times when I’m illogical, all I really want is an assuring touch telling me I am at my best. There’s no need for profound words or trying insinuations just for the sake of saying something.  You don’t want to see me frown. Understanding is standing under my pressure and not above it.

Finding my lights and my darks isn’t so much of a mystery. In fact I’m going to show it to you right away.  But transition is something you have to find out for yourself and its not going to be revealed in just plainly asking questions. I am as perplexed as you probably are but hey, isn’t that what life is all about? Solving mysteries?

Lastly, be brave. Be strong and tough. Be a man. Perhaps this is the hardest thing to do, to act, think and feel like a real man does. It goes with growing up and shit so don’t be too jolly with your toys or too serious with your investments. Being a man doesn’t mean you can’t be seen crying or wearing pink or talking gay (coz its too effin' boring to be macho).

Faint attempt this is.

bookish no more, eh?

I got the .pdf copy of Harry Potter seventh installment a little over two weeks ago but instead of reading it to my heart's content, its gone stuck and untouched in my inbox.

Whatever happened to my HP enthusiasm or my diminishing attention span towards any reading material with more than three paragraphs. Before I would read practically anything from soap labels to uber thick english novels gathering dust in our school library just for the heck of reading. Why I am fond of reading then was probably my means of escape from nonsensical college blabbers. If you were my schoolmate, if you dont find me at the benches people watching, you would find me somewhere cozy curled up with a book.

Now i say, i am quite surprised with myself,  that the anticipation of having the means to purchase the must reads has passed my alley.  Maybe I have found a new avenue to focus on, no more rubbish teenrants that i have to endure. Something which Harry has been doing quite often lately.